The Still Season
Before the breakthrough in my career came, there was a long stretch of silence.
It was quiet, uncertain, and at times, unbearable. But in that stillness, I believe something was shifting like God was preparing me, even if I didn’t know it yet.
Don’t get me wrong. I was grateful for the time off. The stillness gave me space to reconnect with my advocacies and actually rest—something I hadn’t done in a long time. But at the same time, there was a lot of doubt. Questions I didn’t want to ask out loud started lingering in my mind.
Was I still capable?
Was I falling behind?
Did I miss my chance?
As I shared in the previous chapter, when Rappler told me I wouldn’t be regularized, I was crushed. I spiraled into self-doubt and heightened anxiety. I feared people would see me as a failure, and the worst part was, I believed it. The fear wasn’t imagined. It was real.
Losing my job at the start of the pandemic felt like everything was falling apart. My dreams were put on pause, and I was stuck, grieving silently in a season of stillness. Shame crept in. I began to believe the quiet lie that I wasn’t worthy of a second chance.
But even in that pain, another voice was speaking.
“Keep going. This isn’t the end.”
The Open Door
By July 2020, I started noticing more job openings. The hiring freeze was slowly lifting, so I began applying. At that point, all I wanted was to be employed again. The idea of working in a company with social impact no longer felt realistic. But God knew His child.
I ended up having an unexpected conversation with Mr. Ken Lorena, a hiring manager at a company I applied to. He didn’t hire me, but he told me he saw potential. In his words, that potential was meant to be sharpened elsewhere. Instead of letting the conversation end there, he referred me to a headhunter named Mr. Pat Dimayuga.
That referral led me to MindNation.
MindNation was looking for someone with my background. And more than that, it felt like they were looking for me. I was interviewed by Cat and Mon, two leaders who didn’t just look at my résumé. They looked at my heart.
One promise I made to myself: I wouldn’t lie in any interview. Yes, I told some friends I had resigned from Rappler, but I refused to lie to my potential employers. I told the truth—that I wasn’t regularized, that others had passed me over.
But Cat and Mon still chose me.
Even with the weight of my self-doubt, they gave me grace. And that grace gave me a new beginning. They saw the potential in me.
Nothing Wasted
At the time, MindNation was still a small startup. But that turned out to be a blessing.
Though I felt overwhelmed at first, it was as if something in me already knew what to do. The startup’s fast-paced, flexible nature reminded me of what I had gone through at Rappler. But this time, everything made more sense. The speed, the storytelling, the client management, the project coordination—I brought all of these skills with me.
What’s even more surprising is that some of these were areas I had struggled with before. I remember scoring low in project and account management during my stint at Rappler. But at MindNation, those very skills became my strength. Suddenly, I was known for what I used to feel insecure about.
Nothing was wasted.
Within six months, I wasn’t just regularized. But, I was promoted.
That moment felt redemptive—not just professionally, but personally and spiritually. For the first time, I could trace the thread of God’s hand weaving everything together.
The waiting season hadn’t been pointless. It had been necessary. God knew I needed rest before entering a new season that would stretch me. The failures I experienced at Rappler weren’t the end of the story. They were preparation.
At MindNation, I didn’t just find a job. I found a mission.
I shared in one of the earlier chapters how passionate I am about with the mental health advocacy because it came from my own experience living as a queer person with an anxiety disorder and my background as a student-advocate. This role felt like home, and it felt like I was finally living my purpose and ikigai. I was so grateful to be doing work that mattered, and even more grateful to be surrounded by like-minded people who shared the same heart for making mental health more accessible, valued, and supported.
I also had mentors like Cat and Salma who didn’t just sharpen my skills—they nurtured my spirit. Their belief in me helped rebuild the confidence I thought I had lost for good.
I had the opportunity to work on incredible projects that still make me proud. Two of my favorites were organizing the Philippines’ first-ever CEO Roundtable on Mental Health in the Workplace and launching a partnership with the Pasig City Government to provide free mental health services to Pasig City Hall employees and individuals in the city’s quarantine facilities. These were the kinds of initiatives my mental health advocate self dreamed of. I know college Anton would be proud.
I now call those four months between Rappler and MindNation my waiting season.
Neither a wasted season nor a detour.
And through it all, I came to see that God didn’t just restore me.
He redirected me. He brought me onward, upward, and deeper into His purpose for my life.
When Romans 8:28 Found Me
Romans 8:28 is no longer just a verse I stumbled on. It really became the foundation of how I live and how I see.
But what’s funny is, I thought I chose it as my life verse in 2023. That’s when I was going through another season of pruning and reflection, and I came across this verse while watching a video about spiritual seasons. It resonated so deeply that I made a post about it, saying, “This is it. This is my life verse.”
What I didn’t realize, until I started writing this chapter, was that I had already used Romans 8:28 two years earlier.
As I was revisiting the memories of this chapter, I remembered the post I made in 2021 about my promotion at MindNation. I knew I had written something about redirection, so I checked the caption out of curiosity. And there it was. I had already used Romans 8:28 without realizing it.
I honestly forgot. Back then, I just wanted to be inspirational. I Googled something like “Bible verse for rejection to redirection,” and Romans 8:28 came up. It felt fitting. I used it. And now, years later, I see it wasn’t just fitting. It was prophetic.
It’s amazing how God works. Even when I didn’t know it was Him, He was already writing truth into my story. Even the verses we “randomly” choose have purpose.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him,
who have been called according to His purpose.”
Even the closed doors.
Even the heartbreak.
Even the jobs we lose and the silence that follows.
In God’s economy, nothing is wasted.
He works through everything.
As I write this chapter, and my entire testimony, I realize I’ve come to know God not just as my Savior, but as Redeemer.
The One who doesn’t waste our pain.
The One who reuses our past.
The One who reroutes us toward something better.
So my story didn’t end at Rappler as I thought.
But, it was just being rewritten by the One who authors all things well.
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